If you think 50,000 thoughts a day (or 70,000 or 12,000, depending on where you look), how many of those thoughts are useful and how many are you wasting on things that don’t matter?
Ben Gerbrecht is deep into figuring out life stuff, particularly the mind-body connection or how what you think affects how you feel. He’s a practical goal-setter who practices the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and meditation to help him set and reach his goals. It’s helped him become more confident (definitely a requirement for his stand-up comedy!), less reactive, and more in control of how to goes about his day.
I think the most important thing for any goal is that you want to have a growth mindset as opposed to a fixed one like anything you learn and you’re trying to achieve you need to figure out what you need to learn and what kinds of skills you’re going to need to get to actually make that dream possible.”—Ben Gerbrecht
Figuring things out: do you have a growth mindset or fixed mindset?
Carol Dweck, in her book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success”, writes about the differences between having a growth mindset and a fixed mindset.
A growth mindset thrives on challenge and considers failures as a natural part of learning. If you’re of this belief, then you’re not afraid of change and are willing to consider new ideas and expand your horizons. People with a growth mindset are high-achievers who accept criticism and believe in working hard to master skills.
On the other hand, a fixed mindset assumes a fairly static existence, that you are who you are and nothing much will change that; the knowledge you have is the knowledge you have, and you’ll defend it. As Ben says, you believe you’re resigned to your circumstances and no amount of learning will change that.
I think many of us sway between the two, though one is dominant. When I was younger, I certainly aspired to great things but I never went after them because I felt that it “wasn’t me” or that I would never have the skills to achieve my aspirations. Then, I would go through fairly rapid transformations, periods of personal growth usually related to living somewhere new, where anything felt possible and when I didn’t feel like having a static identity was important. When people said, “you’re the same as you’ve always been”, I took that as a harsh criticism. I certainly didn’t feel the same!
A fixed mindset can keep you safe, comfortable, but it can also be paralyzing. If you’re so attached to an identity, but what you desire requires you to change, you get caught in an ugly moment of, “who am I, really?” You might give up and say change isn’t worth it. You might go overboard and become self-obsessed and addicted to personal development. But I believe if you wrestle through it, you’ll learn that change isn’t so scary.
I think Ben nailed it:
In order to achieve any goal I think there has to be a congruence between the conscious mind and the subconscious mind…the latest neuroscience shows that 90-95% of our thinking comes from the subconscious mind and the subconscious is in control of what formulates our habits, our beliefs, our self-image, which affects our confidence, so if we consciously try to go after a goal but we have a subconscious belief that doesn’t align with the goal then we’re always going to have some form of inner resistance or emotional baggage that manifests itself in different ways in our life.”—Ben Gerbrecht
And that brings us to this technique that Ben shares, called EFT, that can possibly help you get through that scary bit.
What is EFT? Try it right now!
EFT has been in practice in Eastern medicine for over 5,000 years, and like acupuncture and acupressure, it utilizes the body’s energy meridian points (your body’s healing energy pathways). The focus and repetitiveness is quite meditative and blends what feels kind of like quick acupressure with affirmations. The first time I heard about EFT, someone recommend I check out Brad Yates, so I’m passing that on to you. Try this quick session to get a feel for it.
Let me know what you think about this technique in the comments and join the conversation in our private Facebook lair.
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